How to be single. A premiere guide by Kayen.

Ahh being single noone knows it like me.It can be ever so joyous, yet all the more lonesome at the same time. However it has its moments, and you are blessed by the bounties of its freedoms. Plus divorces are expensive! And you don't want it to go that far, and i can't elaborate more on that situation as i am naught but a teen.

Don't get me wrong though, relationships are possibly the most amazing thing that can happen to you. That is if you're mature about it, and able to handle all the complications, and the complexities of one.

So this isn't quite a full all out guide as some of you may expect, however it is fairly straight forward.

1 - If a person keeps texting you, and it seems like they like you, you can do one of two things.
      ONE: Tell them to fuck off. If you're like me, you'll call them ugly at the same time.
      TWO: Ignore them.  If they keep going you can keep ignoring them. If that doesn't work, resort
                 to the solution stated above.
2 - Smell like thrash. Noone likes a smelly person. Seriously, if you're gonna smell, get the hell out of my
      bubble, cause if i don't like it, you can be your stinky ass that noone else will like it either.
3 - Be a general asshole, Exhibit A "Kayen". Because mean people are no fun. They're just there to constantly
     put you down. You don't want to be in one of those relationships.
4 - Be a sexist bitch. See "Peter Chao (or however you spell that chinks name)". Seriously girls won't be liking
     it too much if the only thing you say to them is one of the following things ...
         ONE: Make me a sandwich.
         TWO: Give me a blowjob. Like right now.
         Three: Yo bitch what happened to that sandwich i asked for.
         Four: OH OH OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Like koolaid man)
      None of those will float to well. Take my word, though i have no personal experience to speak of.
5 - Walk with your eyes closed and moan all the time. This can also translate to a bitchy ass chink. Seriously,
     people don't like whiners, they just piss you off. ( I should take notes hahahaha, all i do is bitch and moan!)
6 - Be a hardcore gamer. Seriously it cost me relationships back in junior high. I sat on WoW for 15 hours a
     day. Errrr, not healthy. Like really you'll end up stinking, and fat

7 - Don't be fat. Fat people are unattractive. OH HEY I'm fat... Oh ..... damn .... : ( .

8 - Don't eat like a pig, It's disgusting -> *SLURP SLURP CRUNCH CRUNCH SLOBBBBBERRRR*
    See ? Not attractive at all . *BURP* .

I think that's all i can come up for now. I have a much more comprehensive stories in there somewhere. Hope you guys enjoyed this post.

Kayen, peacing the fuck out.